my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
