i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
