She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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