My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
