Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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