my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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