In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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