At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
