even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
