just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
