Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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