well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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