help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
