If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
