No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
