Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
