he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
