I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
