someone get that fucking seahorse.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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