So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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