do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
