zippers are such a cool invention
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
