no. you can't hotbox the world.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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