good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
