Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
