Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
