It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i believe in u and ur pee
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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