My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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