you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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