kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
