yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If its not for food we ain't going out.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
