To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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