Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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