i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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