when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think i have herpe
just one?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
