mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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