so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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