We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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