i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
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