We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
