i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
