I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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