Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
