my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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