I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
