Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
