It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up under a house in Key West
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
