I need help removing her.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
