Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
did i just pee glitter
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
