You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
