Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
